New habits.
Every hour on the hour, starting at 1:30, I wake up and go outside to just sit. The only sounds are an owl (love that sound), crickets (not my favorite), and the hum of air conditioners kicking on, breaking up the peacefulness of nature.
Around 4:30, I stay out for about an hour—just me, my water, and my dogs. I watch bats swoop and hunt in their chaotic little flights. Bats used to freak me out, but they’re actually fascinating creatures. By 5:30, the birds start singing their morning songs.
When I step onto the back porch, I feel like I’m entering a whole other world—a world I knew was there but never fully appreciated. I’d probably appreciate sleep, too, but since that’s not happening, I’m finding other calming things to keep my thoughts from going south. Once I come back inside, I can finally doze off for another hour.
I’ve also started walking barefoot in the yard—a lot. Even my “Zombie Foot” loves it. It used to be that an odd surface or texture would set the nerves in my crooked, broken foot on fire. But now, it feels soothing and grounding. Weird. So now it’s not Zombie Foot anymore—it’s Nature Foot. Walking doesn’t even hurt anymore. I’ll take that win.
Last night, around 2:00, fireworks were still going off, so the dogs wanted nothing to do with going outside with me. That’s when I saw her—a doe, calm as can be, eating out of one of my bird feeders in my yard. I couldn’t believe it. My surprise set off a coughing fit, but the deer didn’t care. She looked at me, then went right back to eating. When I finally caught my breath, I apologized to her. She looked at me again—just looked.
As I felt myself getting weak, I told her goodnight and went back inside, still wondering if it was real or a dream. Pretty sure it was real… but between the lack of sleep, the coughing, and the worry, who knows?
Have a good Saturday. Give thanks that you can breathe. Give thanks that you can sleep. Give thanks for the blessings you have.
My GoFundMe is still up, and we’ve made it halfway there.
https://gofund.me/e421b891
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